I have made some powerful changes in my business and life in the past year, changes that shook me to my core, and made me truly doubt everything I was doing… but they were changes that had been calling for a very long time, and I was just finally ready to listen.
As some of you may know I lost my little furry best friend in the world for nearly 14 years, Kita, last January. Our relationship was more than I could ever say in any piece of writing, and nearly a year later, the waves of grief still come. Shortly after that I lost my beloved grandpa too, whom I was very close with, and loved so dearly. I got to be there for both of these precious beings last breath, and it was and is my greatest privilege to have known them, and loved them, and seen them leave this world…
and it changed me forever.
If you know me, you already know I’ve always been a rather deeply introspective kind of girl… and I’ve always done things differently… but what changed in me as a result of these losses was that I was suddenly no longer willing to trade away my quality of life or work for “survival”. I would survive, and thrive AND live the life that I love without giving one away for the other, or I would die trying.
Loss devastates. It totally levels you. And the gift of that is
that it makes you more fearless than you’ve ever been before.
So I slowly picked myself up, dusted myself off, and went to work restructuring my business and life to put the quality of life, quality of relationships, and quality of work FIRST, unapologetically. That would be the heart of it, without compromise, and everything else: the money, the product, the packages, the timelines, would rise to meet that center… to support it. To sustain it. To feed and nourish that vision.
I finally really GOT IT that anything less would not allow me to GIVE in the way that I’ve always loved to give, and always have. Trying to give from a perpetually empty cup is not sustainable, it is exhausting, and that exhaustion costs you EVERYTHING. When your life gets shaken up—it lets you see this. It gives you an opportunity to re-discover and nourish the roots of your business and life…
and the effect that has, will totally astonish you.
It astonished me, because when I finally did that for myself and committed myself to that, entirely, the MOST incredible things began to happen. The energy that I had previously over-expended or given from my ‘empty cup‘ was restored, and I was suddenly freed up to think of so many new and better ways to give back, to do MORE than I ever dreamed possible… and I was so damn sure it would be the opposite!
I was so sure that it would limit me, cut me off, hinder me, or end me up destitute. But the absolute opposite was the truth.
It allowed me to begin to work with people in a whole new way, from a whole new place. It gave me so much more to give, and I LOVE TO GIVE. It allows both me AND the work itself to pay it forward in much more powerful ways than ever before.
I thought I had to work from a colder, more distant place in order to succeed at the level that I needed, the level that would change my life and circumstances—but when grief made me unwilling to do that, I found the way that was nearest to my heart—and to my great surprise it FED ME in every way imaginable and then some.
This did not come easy… there was a lot of fumbling around in the dark, a lot of falling, a lot of getting up, a lot of fear and doubt and humiliation (self-imposed) and trial and error. But I did not give up. I knew the fruits would come if I kept true to my heart… and they DID. They are here. And now I can share the fruits of that discovery in bigger and better ways through my work with my clients, and my work in this world, and my work in my home and my family and life.
But you must first devote yourself to doing this for you. For YOU first, because I know how you want to give, I know how it lights up every corner of your heart to give your gifts to others… but you cannot do it, if you don’t fill your cup. Give your business and life the space that it needs to truly BREATHE, and watch the life come back into it, in a way you haven’t truly felt in years.
Give yourself that gift, and see how it unearths an ocean of aliveness that spills from your cup to every cup around it. Give yourself that gift… commit yourself to that change, and see how life responds in kind.
It will astonish you what is possible when you do something
as terribly simple as: DECIDE.