Have you ever been really excited about something, and so sure you really wanted to do something, you’re super into it, you know it’s going to be so good for you and bring good things into your life and experience, you know it’s gonna deliver just the thing that you need… but then you get hit with the price.
And it’s like a gut punch, you can literally feel your whole body tense up.
I was thinking about this today, as I was presented with such an opportunity. And I was also thinking of how many people feel the same. That moment when you find out how much this thing you want is, and it’s more than you think you can do, and you feel that constricting tension in your body.
We all understand this feeling. No matter where we currently are in our financial journey.
And what I want to say about that, first off, is: it’s real. It’s a real survival mechanism and response. It is the bodies fight, flight or freeze response engaging and it is trying to keep you safe from a perceived threat. The threat is: there is not enough. There will not be enough. This might ruin you. It might be a mistake. It might not be worth it. *I* might not be worth it. I don’t know if I can be trusted to make this decision. I don’t know if it’s really the right decision for me. On and on it goes…
This whole litany of stuff comes up around the money and the decision.
At the base of it all there’s this underlying current: There is not enough. There will not be enough. There will never be enough. I will never be someone who can make this decision easily. I will never be someone who can just choose based on what I WANT, or what I love, instead of what I can afford. I will never be financially free.
Here’s the thing about that, your relationship with money is like any other relationship, it is ABSOLUTELY possible to heal and transform that relationship. It is absolutely possible to have a totally different relationship with money than you’ve ever known before. But JUST like any other relationship that heals and changes in life, it is not a snap of the fingers, it is the result of entering into work on that relationship, of determining and saying what you want in that relationship, and actively cultivating those things by making different choices, and taking different actions than you’ve ever previously taken.
But money, unlike people, is neutral. It’s ready to have a different relationship to you any time you’re ready. You only have to do the work on your end of things. And you’re doing that work. You being here is you doing that work. And if you continue to want it, and to move towards it, you WILL and absolutely CAN have the financial freedom you desire.
Will there be no road blocks? No unfairness in the world? No biases you’re going to have to deal with and work to overcome? Of course not! There will be all those things. Just like in every other relationship in your life. But if you refuse to settle, and keep moving towards your dreams, you will both LIVE IN now, and arrive at that life that you want. In other words, you arrive at it by living into it, one little step and decision at a time.
This is not about making irresponsible choices, it’s about weighing your choices and leaps in terms of whether or not they’re going to help you get where you want to go. So someone might say no to an opportunity to learn, grow or advance in their business for example, but then spend that same amount of money over the following month or two in new clothes, amazon prime orders, coffee and eating out. They still spent the money, just in ways that felt more safe, and they probably didn’t even recognize it.
I have done that so many times. Buying new outfits that would make me feel better about myself, instead of buying something that would help me get to the root of why I don’t feel good about myself.
I so get it. It’s tough. We sabotage ourselves this way. Money is linked to our survival response, and for good reason. Building a new money relationship requires us to cultivate TRUST – we think we need to trust more in money itself, or in the universe, or life, or god, and faith of some kind is vital – but mostly we need to trust OURSELVES.
Time and time again that voice will tell you not to do it. Not to trust yourself and your decisions. That you can’t, because you’ve made mistakes in the past. Well, we’ve all made mistakes. And we’re all going to continue to make mistakes. But if you fail towards what you love, those failures are dividends that pay you back big time.
So here’s what I want you to do, the next time you feel gut punched by a price, or the cost of something, I want you to just recognize that moment as an opportunity for growth in your relationship. Your relationship with money, and your relationship with yourself.
And whether you spend the money or not, trust yourself.
Because that self-trust is what will keep propelling you forward toward the financial freedom you’re wanting.
❤️ 💸 💰 😍 ✨ 👊🏽
P.S. If you want more help on the journey, you can now buy any or all of my quick-start mini guides in the shop »