Comfort or Inspiration?? God knows there’s plenty of room for BOTH. And God knows both are sorely needed! But as someone who derived her sole sense of worth from bringing other people comfort…
the transition from more comfort to inspiration has honestly been the most painful one of my entire life.
I still value comfort – very much so – and I consider myself a safe place to land for any and all kinds of hurt. But I’ve noticed that inspiration is certainly not always comforting, and in fact, it is very often triggering… as much as it can be up-lifting.
The nature of comforting is to join, and the nature of inspiration is to break out of the mold and blaze a new path, and they are both equally valuable things… just different things. And they can, and certainly DO, overlap.
But this was a personal and professional crossroads for me.
Because my vow to only-ever make people feel more comfortable, warm and loved was certainly going to conflict with my desire to blaze new trails and go after more in life.
Because god knows people who have managed to break out of my current reality certainly have triggered the hell out of ME, so it naturally follows that I will trigger the hell out of people now too if I do that.
As I’ve pushed my own comfort zones in the pursuit of my desires, I’ve noticed I AM pushing other peoples too. And it IS indeed uncomfortable. It felt, and still feels, far more dangerous than being of comfort. Because it is indeed not very cozy to have your current limitations questioned. And it is indeed not very cozy at all to question the status-quo.
I still have a choice, of course. I can choose the more comforting and thus comfortable route. Comfortable for me anyway, because I’m used to holding space for people’s pain. I’m used to holding space for my own pain. But I’m not used to holding space for people’s growth, peoples wins, and people’s joy.
I mean I AM, but it’s less what I’ve learned to do in my life. It’s less what I’ve been congratulated for. I seek out pain because I know how to comfort it. At least that’s what I told myself.
But I realized something important in that.
I realized that comfort without encouragement is actually not comforting at all. It was more like an agreement. An agreement that “yes, life sucks and you are totally powerless.”
Comfort and inspiration were never meant to exist without each other. But the way I was using comfort, was to avoid and suppress a vital part of myself… my DESIRE.
And desire is ALIVENESS. It is that bubbling joy of momentum. It is that forward feeling motion. It is cartwheels, and car rides… it’s the wind in your hair, and the lapping of water. It’s what you’re made of! You are energy in motion.
And yes, sometimes stillness and comfort is just exactly and only what’s needed for a time. But just beware of comfort that comes without encouragement—comfort that agrees with and re-affirms that you are powerless—comfort that wants to commiserate, but not commit to greater joy.
I realize now this is not a choice I have to make. I do not need to choose between comfort and inspiration. I just need to make damn sure there’s always BOTH of those things at my table.
Because together… they add up to REAL LOVE. Together, they add up to the life you’re really wanting, and you deserve to have every piece of that life!! And you deserve to have every piece of YOURSELF.
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