So I had a little conversation with myself this morning (yah, if you’re new here, talking to myself is a regular thing 😂 ), and here’s how it went down. I had been making some funny little visuals to put on my desktop about my money goals, because I’d discovered that the ones that had a silly/playful/funny element to them worked more powerfully for me.
can we talk?
sure.
so I was making these and having fun, when the self-judgement started. I started imagining people saying “omg you are out of control.” or “you are so greedy and selfish.” or “you are totally misguided” and a whole bunch of other stuff. Am I??
how did they make YOU feel, before you started worrying what other people think??
they made me laugh. and smile. and feel light and giggly and like I’m having fun and playing.
there’s your answer sweet pea.
really though? I mean I did have some hesitation come up while I’m making them, like maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m being shallow, misguided, selfish, greedy or off-track by doing that.
yes and that’s the only reason you’re projecting it ‘out there’. because it’s your own beliefs still you’re hearing.
right.
Listen… you live in a physical world. You live in a world that runs on money. Same as it runs on water and food. In fact water and food is paid for with money in this time and place in the world you live in, so you could even say it is MORE vital in this physical world. And would you call someone “shallow” for wanting to get abundant access to clean water?
No.
Would you call someone “misguided and greedy” for wanting to have food available whenever hungry?
No.
Would you call someone “selfish” for wanting food and water at the ready if and when they need it, in plentiful supply??
No.
Then why on EARTH would you call someone, or yourself, those same things for something that not only makes those things available in your time and place, but also provides support and safety and care in EVERY OTHER CONCEIVABLE way?? From shelter, to fun and joy, to health and wellness??
Okay. Yes. Good point. But you don’t need a LOT to get the basics of what you need, it’s okay to want that, but it’s not okay to want MORE than that. Or a LOT more than that. That’s greedy.
Oh I see… so it’s okay to want enough water NOT TO DIE, but it’s not okay to want enough water to truly live? is that it?? Enough to drink, but not to swim in? Not to run through the sprinklers of? Not to bathe? It’s okay to want enough food so you don’t starve, but not okay to want enough so that you can actually choose what food you’d like to eat? Is that it?? It’s greedy to want beyond merely surviving is that it??
Shit. Yes. That seems to be it.
Mmmm. Interesting. And where did you learn that?
I don’t know, I could say my environment, people, books, movies, stories, tv… but honestly I think it’s biblical. The culture and society we see today was built on ancient religious ideas and morals written up by drunk men in dark huts thousands of years ago. And those messages are still circulating, in seen and unseen ways.
Exactly. Now let’s take this a shade deeper. If you see Lizzo talking about how she better be paid, or putting up a meem about big money, is that okay?
Yes. And it is totally empowering as a matter of fact.
Exactly. So again… why is this not okay for you?
*sigh* … this goes way beyond ‘going beyond survival’ doesn’t it. This goes way beyond religious morals and learned ideas.
*sigh* … this goes way beyond ‘going beyond survival’ doesn’t it. This goes way beyond religious morals and learned ideas.
YES. Because if it were only about that, it would not be okay for Lizzo either. This is about your ideas about YOU.
*sighhhhh* … Yes. You’re right.
I know. 😉
Okay, so why am I not allowed to be that then?
You tell me.
Well, I think for a lot of reasons, many of which I’ve already worked through, but what’s coming to mind right now is that, I’m not allowed to be that, and say that, and do that because 1) I’m not “special” or “important” – famous people have proven they’re ‘important’ or ‘special’ and so they can say and do stuff and change the rules. I know that’s bullshit, that NOBODY is more or less important than anyone else, but it’s apparently still there. And 2) because even though I’m really trying not to, I still need people to think I’m ‘nice’ and ‘good’ and ‘have a big heart’ and CARE and am not selfish on some level, and Lizzo doesn’t. She doesn’t need that. But I still do. Damn it.
Yes. The difference is she knows she is good, and nice and cares, and knows her heart, and she doesn’t need other people to confirm or deny it for her. But you still do. You’ve come a LONG way with that baby, but you still do. Because you live in this world! It’s a process that’s unfolding. So what’s it gonna take to let that go?
*sigh* I don’t know. I’ve been working so hard on it for so long.
Yes. Maybe work less hard at it, and have more fun. You know, kind of like you were already doing with making those funny visuals before this self-judgement started up.
Yes. Okay. But what do I do when the self-judgement does start up?!
THIS. Talk it out. Challenge those thoughts coming up. They’re not REAL, they’re just old ideas that seem real when you believe them. You can blindly accept them, or you can challenge them. And then go back to playing and creating.
Well… okay. Yah, I can do that. 🙂
And what about this ‘special’ and ‘important’ business?? You done carrying that load of bull yet or what?
TOTALLY.
Anyone society deems ‘special’ or ‘important’ is just someone who deemed THEMSELVES ‘special’ and ‘important’ enough to go after what they really wanted in life, despite what anyone said, and then they made it happen and then society agrees with them! (and even then, some do, some don’t). No one is EVER any more special or important than anyone else, some just decide to KNOW that they are important and special, and some struggle to see their own importance and specialness, and act from that place. What are you going to choose?
To know that I am important. And special. Everyone is special. Everything is special. This entire universe is fucking special and important!
Yep! Now you’ve got it.
But some people DO care too much about money, and not about people and the planet and things.
Yes. And you’re not one of those people. Neither are the people you speak to. People who care about people and the planet and things NEED to allow themselves more money – WAY more money!! So that the hands of power can shift in this world. People who don’t care about people, the planet and things aren’t reading this stuff. Trust me. 😉
LOL. Right. Thank you.
You’re welcome. Now go forth and make your silly memes in peace and PLAY. That’s what this human life is for! Live it up all the way, make money into PLAY, you’re onto something with that.
I will!
….
So, my loves, how bout’ you?
Will you?
xo
Sunni
P.S.Want more money, more time and more freedom on YOUR TERMS? Watch my FREE 👉Permission To Thrive Workshop👈 on how to do just that!
