There are two things I’ve learned in my journey to making more money and having more success in my business. I’ve learned SO MANY THINGS (omgeeeeeeee) but there are two things that really stand out, and that is that:
1. What feels like doubt is actually FEAR.
2. What feels like shame is just an attempt to stay SAFE.
When I’m doubting myself, it ALWAYS (even when I can’t see it at the time) is really only a self-protective measure for the fear I’m really feeling underneath. And not fear of failing (because I already know what it feels like to fail, I have a lot of practice at that!! 😂) — but fear of winning.
Fear of succeeding.
Because I do NOT know what to do with THAT, and I’m afraid of how that might change things. Or change me. Or change my life. Or the people around me! 😱 It’s more of an unknown, and unknowns always equal FEAR for human beings, more fear than the comfortable knowns—no matter how shitty they might be!
Of course all of the above will go on UNDER YOUR RADAR, on the subconscious level. You don’t actively think you don’t want to succeed, but it’s there.
But the more aware of it you are, the more you’ll notice it, and the more you notice it, the more you will shift it purely by your own awareness and actions that are born out of that awareness.
Then comes SHAME.
Because shame is just fear’s INSTRUCTION.
Here’s how it looks, I try to do something new and fear pops up and says, “no bueno! back off from that! no go!”. Then, when I don’t listen and go ahead anyway, fear says, “holy shit she’s serious! bring on the shame! she’s not staying in her hole! For christ sakes call up the cavalry!!”
Why? Because shame’s primary function is to “keep me in line”. It is an attempt to protect me from being exiled. To keep me safe from that. It thinks it’s trying to help me by hurting me.
This does not work of course. And it is damaging as all hell, but it has a benefit. It has a benefit or else we wouldn’t do it. And that benefit is staying in the comfortable-knowns (even when they’re hella uncomfortable).
So for example, if I am beating myself up for something (shame), then as crappy as I think that feels to me at the time, it actually feels BETTER to me than feeling proud or good because it is at least familiar and known, and is therefore not a threat to my current existence. And it helps me feel still connected to my people, who may be also still living with shame.
Because the fear is that if I go outside of that, it will add to their pain or make them feel invalidated. So I invalidate the parts of myself that would threaten that instead.
Again, all of the above will go on UNDER YOUR RADAR. On the conscious level you might know that that is silly and that people around you just want the best for you and want you to be happy, but on a subconscious level you don’t believe that and think otherwise, and the subconscious is what drives ALL your ACTIONS, not the conscious.
This is why I do the work I do. Because awareness of your pattern of limitations CHANGES THE LIMITATIONS. It takes the lid off. It begins to crack that glass ceiling so you can eventually shatter through.
So if you’re feeling doubt and/or shame on your journey towards all that you’re wanting to create in your life of freedom, know that it is not because you can’t get there, or because you’re not worthy, it’s because those feelings are trying to protect you from the greater and thus more fearful unknown:
actually GETTING everything you want to receive.
What would that look like? What might be the downsides? What might you lose if you truly had it all??
And if you’re ready to seriously work on those limitations, my Feast or Famine No More Course & Membership is the perfect place to start! Because you NEED a place in your life that feels safe for you to not only “lose”, but to “win”! You need a place you can dig into this stuff in a way that relates to money and business and not just LIFE. It doesn’t have to be my course, but just choose someone who’s voice and way of being in the world you trust… and you will get there.
And I think if you’re reading this, you already know on some level…
P.S. If you’d like some more support along the way, grab my free guide & get on my list for more inspiration and encouragement to your inbox »👇